Joining Leila...
...in the feeling like an ass thing.
I have no friends.
No, really. I have no friends who aren't connected to someone else.
I throw sucky parties.
My brother has to bring people to my parties to make it cool.
My brother also tries to set me up with people. Separate issue.
I feel like an absolute failure. Funny how this is not related to PMS on any level. Nope, this is just me. He Who Shall Not Be Named (Sorry, Kel for stealing the name) was right--I am a naturally depressed person. I don't think I know how to be happy. I get frustrated over things I shouldn't get frustrated over. Anyway, this failure thing is a personal as well as professional thing. I'm not going to pass my BEST portfolio, I'm never going to find someone...I'm going to be broke and have to move back in with my parents. If I thought crying would help, I would do it, but I know it won't.
As much as I hate to admit it, I DO care what people think about me, and I get the feeling everyone around me thinks I'm just a little too pathetic. There's so many things I don't have that I should at this point in my life...gah!
I have no friends.
No, really. I have no friends who aren't connected to someone else.
I throw sucky parties.
My brother has to bring people to my parties to make it cool.
My brother also tries to set me up with people. Separate issue.
I feel like an absolute failure. Funny how this is not related to PMS on any level. Nope, this is just me. He Who Shall Not Be Named (Sorry, Kel for stealing the name) was right--I am a naturally depressed person. I don't think I know how to be happy. I get frustrated over things I shouldn't get frustrated over. Anyway, this failure thing is a personal as well as professional thing. I'm not going to pass my BEST portfolio, I'm never going to find someone...I'm going to be broke and have to move back in with my parents. If I thought crying would help, I would do it, but I know it won't.
As much as I hate to admit it, I DO care what people think about me, and I get the feeling everyone around me thinks I'm just a little too pathetic. There's so many things I don't have that I should at this point in my life...gah!
posted by LadyVader @ 12:27 AM
5 Comments:
At 1:37 AM ,
Kelly said...
We all have "I suck" moments, even me. But we are goddesses, and we kick ass. Douchebag was not right about anything and should never be taken even remotely seriously.
You'll feel better after a good night's sleep. You are getting a tattoo and staying in a 5-star hotel in a couple weeks! Think of all the luxury and delicious food!
Love ya, Kar, see you soon.
At 9:30 AM ,
leila said...
i don't think you're pathetic. i like your parties. i was having major emotional issues last night. i didn't mean leaving early to have any reflection on you.
At 9:39 AM ,
Likestrek said...
I wish I had a brother to set me up with dates although that's all I'd want one for...I'm really at a loss as to what to say that hasn't already been said but I just want you to know that even though we don't talk much anymore I still care about you. Oh and there is a reason people don't talk with their exes...
At 1:37 PM ,
An Illegal-Size Paper Production said...
It sounds to me like you have at least a handful of friends who are there for you and that sounds pretty good. Plus, you have a brother who sounds like a friend and that's a super bonus.
I don't know about your parties. Hell, do I really know you at all? Anyway, as other people have said, we all get in moments like these. You'll be okay. I just hope yours is brief as I've been going through a very deep and long depression lately.
If you were to ask me, which might not be the best thing considering our level of knowing each other, it never crossed my mind that you are a naturally depressed person.
I was trying to find the words that best described you and I didn't think a lot of them really matched the first words I thought of when I think of you: intelligent, integrity, hard-working, family-oriented, good friend, fun, interesting, geeky, open, perseverence, and strong.
I'd say you are definitely not a naturally depressed person. People who are always put themselves in situations they can't get out of, but I've never ever really seen you do that and I've never thought of you as pathetic.
Feel better. It looks like there's a bunch of people who really care about you. You'll be okay.
At 3:08 PM ,
JRRyan said...
Dude, you're my friend (and dare I say...cohort!!!??!!!) from school, so that's totally direct friendship. Also, I've been to TWO of your parties and each has been super fun. Bouts of low self-esteem are found in a highly regarded medical study (by me, of me) to be caused by BEST hoop jumping and typically crappy CT winters. It's really not your fault.
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