Book Reviews

Okay, so I finished Monstrous Regiment before I left for OR. It was absolutely hysterical, as you will find when I begin posting my plethora of amusing anecdotes. I'm still not sure how I feel about HOW "monstrous" the regiment was, however; it almost seemed to cheapen the experience by the end, but still did not upset me. I don't want to ruin the book for those of you who haven't read it, so those who have and are curious can surely ask me.

"The word 'fat' could honestly not be applied to him, not when the word 'gross' was lumbering forward to catch your attention."--p. 7

"Up to date? What do you mean, up to date? Holy writ gets...written."--p.15

"You never knew who was connected to who...not just to who, in fact, but to whom. 'Whoms' were likely to be far more trouble than you common, everyday 'who'."--p. 22

"Her mother had taught her to read, which was acceptable to Nuggan, and her father made sure that she learned how to write, which was not. A woman who could write was an Abomination Unto Nuggan, according to Father Jupe; anything she wrote would by definition be a lie."--p. 32

"The four lesser apocalyptical horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance and Shouting took control of the room..."--p. 36

"I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee."--p. 96

"You don't understand! This is about...craving. You never stop craving, you just switch it to something that doesn't cause people to turn you into a short kebab! I need coffee!"--p. 174

"...while it may once have been neatly organized, the organization was now but a distant memory, a clear indication that this cart was the property of a man."--p. 183

"Polly ended up patrolling with Maladict and Wazzer, or, to put it antoher way, a vampire on the edge and a girl who was possibly so far over it that she'd found a new edge out beyond the horizon."--p. 230

"It was immoral earnings, now it's the proceeds of common theft."--p. 270

"Oh dear, I feel a humorous double-entendre coming on."--p. 274

"Sorry, I want to be clear, sir. You have a date with a guard?"
"Yes, and I'll suggest we go somewhere dark and then, when I've got what I want, I shall break his neck."
"Isn't that going a bit far on a first date?"--p. 281

"And someone with no sense of the narrative of adventure had removed from the room anything with an edge and, for some reason, anything that could be eaten."--p. 313

"Lieutenant Blouse tells me he is a man sir. Since he is an officer and a gentleman, I will take his word for it."--p. 336

"Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: vampires have a pretty good time of it whatever sex they are, right? But it's the same everywhere. Velvet dresses, underwired nightgowns, acting crazy all the time, and don't let's even go near the whole 'bathing in virgin's blood' thing."--p. 358

"And armies don't do much for agriculture except marginally raise the fertility of the battlefield."--p. 360

"But a mere twitch of a leg was enough, just to see the idiot collapse in the ridiculous, knock-kneed, protective crouch that is as instinctive to a man as saving half an onion is to a woman."--p. 371

Okay, the other book I just finished reading is Here be Dragons which is the first book in a trilogy about 13th century England and Wales. My mom's friend Linda found it at a thrift store, read it, and then passed it along to me. After the initial 100 pages or so of "um, hi, could we focus on JUST ONE THING," the story got better, although Joanna (Richard the Lion Hearted's illegitimate niece) reminded me most unpleasantly of Guenivere, thus making me want to beat her upside the head and shoulders. And, although it was written in the 80s, it's interesting to read about a nation that keeps spreading its soliders too thin across the known world. I'll just leave it at that. If you like historical fiction, it might be worth your while to pick up.