More newspaper idiocy

So I'm flipping through the Parade section of the paper this morning, and there's this whole thing about heart health, led with an article about Bill Clinton. A good section of this "special" has to do with children and heart disease. And a sub-section is entitled "Could your child be at risk?"

Okay, so I'm reading through the list of things that indicate "risky" behavior, and it says the usual: high-calorie foods and inactivity. Under that, it says "What to do." The first thing is "have your child tested."

STOP. RIGHT. THERE.

NO! The first thing to do is stop being a lazy ass and buy your kids some REAL food instead of McDonald's happy meals and frozen pizzas all the time! Fruits, vegetables, whole grains...does any of this sound familiar? AND GET YOUR ASS UP OFF THE COUCH! Take the kid for a freakin' walk when you get home from work. Sign them up for dance or karate or something. When kids are young (0-10), they are DEPENDENT ON YOU to make all these decisions. As they get older, they may be able to express displeasure, but they still need YOU to do something about it.

Ahem. I feel a little bit better, now that I have sufficiently raised my blood pressure.

I am off now, to gather, forage and plan lessons. Don't you wish you lived my life?