They're BA-ACK

My day yesterday....*throws things*

I'm really here to quickly post about my weird-ass dream before I go off to the realm of clothing and then work.

All I remember about this dream is that I was reading a book about, apparently, hotties of film. And as I get to the section on the late 40s, the author tells us that there's no one really to mention, so she's skipping to the 80s, apparently. (I'm assuming the author is a she...although my brain is telling me it might have been a man.) But before that, she goes on about how she's old enough not to list everyone like she would have when she was younger, because otherwise Boris Karloff would be on the list. Then in my brain I see Boris dressed up as a vampire, only he's got this red stocking cap on (very grunge) and is talking about how, really, why do women insist on marrying vampires. Then, back in the book, the author is talking about how Boris couldn't pronounce Nazi and would instead say "Nichos." At this point, I look up from my book and discover I'm sitting on the floor of my parents' kitchen, my brother and cousin are there, and I regale them with the books' contents.

Weird, huh?

I haven't been inside the gym since Thanksgiving morning. I feel blech. Can't go tonight, have to play tour guide.

Ug.

A.K.A "Clock Work"

Okay, everyone look at the calendar. Everyone look at what is one week from today. Now, guess how my life is going?

Did you say it sucks hard vaccuum? You win a prize! The old proverb "Dead men tell not tales" could easily be changed to "Drunk men tell no truths" and that would partially sum up why my life is not going well at the moment. I also had to, after some soul searching, let a guy go because I realized that I just wasn't that into him. Sad, because he and I had a lot in common.

So now I'm in that dark place that no one should be in but here I am nonetheless. I feel so..inept and really not as smart as all of my wonderfully charming, witty, brilliant friends who must hang out with me because I'm the retard. Okay, not quite that bad, but all of you should know how penultimately COOL and smart I think you are.

Also, instead of going to the gym, I'm at home eating left over pasta. Cleo, apparently, still loves me, however, so I've got that goin' for me.

Gullible You have 56 reason points!

You might not believe everything you hear, but you certainly aren't critical. You're gullible, and given a good enough scam, hoax, or unexplainable event, you're likely to fall for an over-the-top or paranormal explanation.

Link: The Are You A Skeptic? Test written by billvmc2000 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Evil Dead!! You scored 65 Resourcefulness and 55 Blood-Lust!

Hella!! You've got the potential to be the lead in a zombie flick, what with the way you've combined resourcefulness with blood-lust. Just look at it like this: When the zombie attack comes, you'll be able to use you're whole range of skills and angry rage to beat back their attack, a natural born zombie-killa!!

Link: The Could You Escape The Undead Test written by bournstar on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

*brain explosion*

Seriously, how stupid do they think I am? The essay is typed, its centered and has a title that contains words I'm pretty sure they can't define. And yet there it is, handed in and to be graded as if the kid had actually done the work. OMGWTFBBQ. It was a group test, so I won't fail the other kid. But...ug. This is from the same class that two students handed me nearly identical extra-credit essays. I didn't check to see if they were plagarized, I was just irate that they thought I wouldn't notice the similarities.

There was a whole editorial in the newspaper today (roughly three columns worth of text) discussing why little girls dress like hoes, that it's a bad idea, and parents really need to start doing their freaking jobs. I think I'm going to cut it out and bring it in to school. Maybe I'll have my freshmen/sophomores write a persusasive piece agreeing or disagreeing with the author's assertions (a word, by the way, I always want to type assertations).

As for my non-work-related life, the only word I have for it is "Oy." If you want to know more...well, SOME of you will have to call me back. :)

Hephaestus Gods! You scored 43!

You are most like Hephaestus, the god of fire and craft! Hephaestus was a patron of blacksmiths. Hardworking, incredibly clever, though a bit of a loner. Known for forging incredible gifts and clever traps. Achilles' armour at the battle Troy is attributed to him, as is Pandora's Box. Unfortunately, while he was off toiling, his beautiful wife Aphrodite was cheating on him with Ares. So while you're into making things and are a straightforward genuine person, don't forget to pay attention to your loved ones from time to time!

Link: The What Greek God Are You Test written by mellyelf on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Si... Silicon You scored 47 Mass, 31 Electronegativity, 33 Metal, and 10 Radioactivity!

Interesting. Take a bunch of really common person-elements and throw them together to get something truely exceptional... that's you. You are probably someone that gave up on trying to understand society at large a long time ago. You don't fear it, but you don't try to be one with it either. You are more or less unperturbed by things... if a problem comes up you might deal with it, or you might avoid it... whatever. You don't take kindly to people pushing you around, and you don't really push anyone else around. You're probably the only one that can tame oxygen simply because you don't understand it's raging neediness, but that doesn't mean that you'll really enjoy having a tame oxygen hanging around all that much either. You can probably get along with people like yourself really well, but you aren't your own soulmate... if only they could make entire colonies of people like you you'd be stoked. Just like you don't understand society, society doesn't understand you... and yes that is my excuse for not knowing how to describe you better.

Link: The Which Chemical Element Am I Test written by effataigus on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Snow-covered Turkey

As promised, and despite my mothers protests that "It won't stick," we have snow. Accumulating snow. Which I must drive in a few hours if I hope to have turkey and get liquored up. Oh, and see my family.

Went to see Rent last night. I'd never heard any of the music (well, except the opening number) up until a few days ago. It is quite a good show and to see the late 80s/early 90s AIDS hysteria was...weird. I must be a cold-hearted biznatch, because I didn't cry during...aw hell, when Angel died. I do have to tell everyone that I am now in love with Jesse L. Martin however, and if anyone would like to get him for me for Birthday/Christmas, I wouldn't complain too much. ;)

Went out for a few drinks (okay 4) after the movie with roommate, Steve, Steve's boyfriend and a bunch of people the New Guy works with. A pretty good time; they're very interesting witty people, which is definitely key to mass outings such as that. Also ran into one of the guidance counselors I work with, but I wasn't sloppy drunk, so that went o-k. Plus, she's really cool and I don't think she would've cared much.

That's it from the land of the ice and snow. Everyone who celebrates have a very happy holiday. :)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Unlike most people who are in love with Harry, I'm not sure that I have a favorite novel. But what I can tell you is the GoF is now my favorite of the movie franchise. Darker (obviously) than the first three, it also is WORLDS improved over PoA, which was definitely a piss-poor interpretation of the novel. There was stuff left out of GoF (obviously) but I didn't feel like I was missing any of it. Oh, and sexual tension between Hermione and Ron = really good.

And now let's talk about the "kids" who have been playing the characters. Rupert Grint = really buff. I felt very dirty watching him on screen. The twins have also grown up QUITE nicely. Daniel is cute, but doesn't have the same appeal as those red-headed Weasleys. Emma is also quite the young lady now.

So when's #5 coming out?

After the movie, went with unfortunately-named-guy to Mystic and then out for dinner. We came back here for a drink and The Princess Bride but I, being a lousy date, started to fall asleep, so we ended the movie early. All-in-all, a very good day.

Today involves driving back home so I can pick up my rolling-money-guzzler...er, I mean car. I don't even want to THINK about what the bill will be. And I STILL don't have a CD player. Grr.

It's going to snow for Thanksgiving. C'mon, who said THAT was acceptable. I have to drive to enjoy the turkey this year! *Not amused*

The Knight You scored 34% Cardinal, 46% Monk, 38% Lady, and 54% Knight!

You are the hero. Brave and bold. You are strong and utterly selfless. You are also a pawn to your superiors and will be lucky if you live very long. If you survive the Holy wars you are thrust into you will be praised for your valor and opportunities both romantic and financial will become available to you.

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The Poser Geek You answered 64% of the questions as a geek truly would.

As a poser geek, you're trying too damned hard. There's a strong possibility that you think you're a geek because you own your own computer, however you're truly missing the bigger picture. You aspirations of being a geek mainly come from your friends, who are probably slightly cooler.

Get rid of those thick black-rimmed glasses. Being a geek isn't about style, it's about substance!

So what's this all mean? It means you're probably a pretty cool person. You've probably got social graces and are well liked by many people. While not a complete conformist, you do prefer to follow along with popular culture. True geeks probably laugh at you behind your back.

In a nutshell, you answered most question how you thought a geek WOULD answer, but your misconceptions deceived you. Truth is, 60% of people are geekier than you.

Link: The True Geek Test written by ambientred on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Lady of the Forest by Jennifer Roberson

This novel came to me via Oregon, Texas, and England. Suffice to say, it was a romping good time and I may have just found my next unfinished story in Robin Hood and his band of merry men. I love dallying in this kind of historical fiction, because you have absolutely so much leeway to do whatever your little heart desires.

Back on point, the book was very good. I share with you now some memorable lines:

"She had been a plain, coltish, ungainly girl, all awkward limbs and tangled hair. FitzWalter had allowed her too much freedom once her mother died. He was too indulgent to guide her hoydenish habits into properly womanly ways. But that had changed in the last year, as she mourned her father. Grief had become the threshold of adulthood, and she had crossed it with colors flying.

She was exquisite, He knew of no better word. And he knew of no man better than he to give her the life she deserved.

To teach her what bodies were for."

--DeLacey (Sheriff of Nottingham), p. 92-3

"A woman's weapon, the tongue; but he would blunt it, for now."--DeLacey, p. 160

"Scathlocke had, rumor said, beaten one man to death. The fourth and final soldier he had relieved of his throat."--Little John, p. 161

"Few women have been hauled off into the depths of Sherwood Forest by a condemned murderer. It gives me some measure of perspective."--Marian, p. 233

"Men born of England do not fare well in heat and sun. There are fevers---I, like many others, brought one home with me."--Robin, p. 277

"It was impossible that Robin might actually know the king. Much supposed men did, but he had never met one on speaking terms with a king."--Much, p. 385

"You are called before us...to answer a charge of witchcraft."
"Yes, so I was given tot understand when I was brought here against my will. Surely if I were a witch I could have prevented that..."--DeLacey and Marian, p. 562

"No, he is in France by now, unless he has already sailed. In which case he may well be in Dover already. He's on my trail, don't you see. I have become my brother's prey. Do you understand now why I require your castle?"--Prince John, p. 572

"Marian wrtenced a crutch from beneath Gisbourne's arm, ignoring his startled bleat as he toppled to the floor..."--p. 579

"Marian has a habit of snatching up the closest length of wood to level at the enemy."--Robin, p. 582

OMG!

Okay, so I was taped today for class. I sound like my cousin. I look a lot like my cousin. Except, you know, shorter. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that? (Not that it's a bad thing, Dorothy, just an observation I made today.)

I just relived an important college experience, with a twist--McDonald's drive-thru, in pajamas...with a cat. Not MY cat, of course, for we are not suicidal, but the Hob-ster took a little drive. He was rewarded with a sundae.

My head hurts. I want it to be Friday. But not so much. We hate Tuesdays, oh yes we do. Except for Bones and House. Only redeeming Tuesday qualities.

Frosted Flakes You scored 85 Kindness, 97 Intelligence, 94 Style, and 62 Humor!

Yoooou're GREAT!! When it comes to Kindness, Intelligence, and some style, you're right up there. Those delicious flakes fluttering around in the murky white atmosphere that is breakfast; you tantilze taste buds of millions. Work on your humor a bit, and you'll be the Count's second hand, in no time.

Link: The Which Breakfast Cereal Are You Test written by BrotherDag on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

You scored 77 % on Knowledge and 11 % on Fun! I'm amazed!

Not that it matters.. at the end of the day we all just want one thing when drinking wine: Get Buzzed! :) Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to actually know a little about that 'sunlight packed in a glass'.. I hope you enjoyed my test - cheers!

Link: The Ultimate Are-You-A-Wine-Expert Test written by pj_girl on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

72 Hours...3 Dates

Does that make me sound like a whore? Sure hope not. It was an...interesting experience, to say the least. One guy I'm pretty sure is "just friend" material...although he's a really cool friend. Just...no sparkage. We did go see The Legend of Zorro which was a very good time in and of itself.

I had Asian fusion for dinner Friday night, with sake, which was WAY too sweet. Also "marshmallow hibachi" which, for some reason, they could not call "smores" even though that's exactly what it was. Nice enough guy, only a first date...but we had a lot to talk about.

Yesterday I went out for coffee. The biggest problem thus far with this guy--same name as THE EX. Doesn't seem to hold much in common except for the name but...well, you can imagine how disconcerting that is, I'm sure.

I had a dream last night that involved being late for work, color-changing pants, a broken garbage disposal, not being able to find my father's work phone number, and not having my car.

Any guesses?

Lazy Days...

Sleeping in, taking naps, doing nothing of consequence...I love days off.

A. and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind this morning. It was very good, both Winslet and Carry were superb, but VERY strange. It would make a good movie for a science ethics or philosophy class.

Did I tell you guys about the movie Crash--dealing with racism in LA? Wow, if not...good movie.

A and I got halfway through Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and, through no fault of the movie, decided to take naps. She's still sleeping, but I think she went down later than I did (g-d, we sound like infants). So now I'm up, blogging, waiting for her to see what round two is for the day. Maybe I'll make her cook dinner or something. Heh.

Business Minded Awe you did it. You deserve a cookie! 50!

You are the perfectionist, the organizer, the dictator. If there’s an answer you will find it, even if it is not the right answer you will enforce it and nobody will question you. A great mind but not always great for the home life, where you excel in one thing you tend to suffer in another.

Link: The 15 Q?s you should NEVER ask Test written by wild_cat on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Pretty Messy You scored 65% Dirtiness!

Your score indicates that your mind is on its way to true dirty status. You've passed the test, but there are some things you could work on. You appreciate dirty things and you wouldn't call your thoughts pure, but you haven't gone completely dirty. You don't have a hard time thinking dirty, but you're probably less driven to do so than someone with a true dirty mind.

Link: The Dirty Mind Test written by demainneviendra on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Because nothing boosts your ego like people talking about you

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished,post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about what people remember about you.

Well, this really just f's things up, now doesn't it?

Know where I should be right now? At work, reflecting on my latest teaching endeavor. Instead, I'm feeling light headed and achey in the apartment. I have no idea what this will mean for my portfolio. I think I can probably carry over one writing lesson. But I won't really know because I'm not going to the meeting tonight either.

Gods, I hate being sick.

Those French...and Elimination Control

Okay, let's start off with the Parisians and their riotous nature. The riots were cool in Les Miserables, but setting 50 year old women on fire Just Because is hella not cool. Two boys died, electrocuted because they were hiding in a powerhouse substation. Stupid of them, and it's sad they're gone...but why is EVERYONE up in arms? This is why no one likes the French. These riots right here are the reason.

And onto another fad in child rearing that made me want to throw things at my television--Elimination Control, or EC for short. This is when you don't put a diaper on your infant, but rather look for "signs" that he/she is about to urinate/defecate and then you put said child on what ammounts to a glorified bed pan. This is supposed to improve the parent-child bond as you are learning to communicate with each other, as well as make a happier baby because he/she is not sitting around in his/her own waste.

First of all...WHO has the time for this? The doctor they interviewed pointed out that if you have a job, or another child, this is just not feasible. Every twenty minutes, this one woman was rushing her 6-month-old to the "potty." Secondly, who REALLY lets the kid sit around in his/her own waste? The kid lets you know when he/she is uncomfortable...you change the diaper...voila! Happy baby!

Your news diatribe for the week brought to you by Day-Quil and the BEST portfolio.

Here, some quizzes:

HIP HOPPER Your parole officer called. You scored 282!

You are hot. You are fun. You are probably taking this test drunk. You are the Hip Hopper, and you are hip with the times and you are livin' life. Hip Hoppers generally smoke, drink, and have a tendency to date around, though many Hip Hoppers may exaggerate the numbers. Keep on lying. We don't believe you anyway. Though you may try to hide the fact, under all that restless exterior, you're just a big softie, trying to find the love you missed out on from your parents. Do us all a favor, though- leave the rest of our dates alone. And stop trying to date my mom.

Link: The Time Warp Test written by upstageright on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Modern, Cool Nerd 65 % Nerd, 69% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Friday Good

Today begins the official "Will Lady Get to Keep Her Job" campagin. If I am successful, I will get a package in early September saying "Congratulations, you receieved a ____" and then I can do the dance of joy and just wait for tenure. If I am unsuccessful, I'll have to do the whole bloody thing over again in less time, hoping they take pity on me. I'd hate to not do well. I'd probably cry and throw things. Also, it would prove someone, somewhere right that I'd chosen the wrong fieled and THEN what would I do with myself?

I'm supposed to go out with my coworkers for drinks this afternoon. I'll probably just get a soda, because I still feel like crap and I'll want to go home and nap most likely before we take the L-ster out for her birthday. Then A & I are off to celebrate ANOTHER birthday. I made roommie promise she wouldn't let me drink. I'm doing far too much of it on the weekends, and recognize the need to stop the insanity. (Wow, remember Susan Powter? That was a very strange flashback I just had.)

Oh, and I LOVE CSI. Grissom-Willows baby!

Hate...BEST...Still...Sick

Five things I plan to do before I die:

1. Get married & make a few babies
2. Write and publish an entire novel
3. Visit Europe
4. See Disneyland
5. Get at least one more set of letters after my name

Five things I can do:

1. write, so they say
2. touch the tip of my tongue to my nose
3. make a killer lasagne
4. listen
5. sing badly

Five things I cannot do:

1. speak any language other than English
2. understand men
3. understand how my brother is so irresistable to women
4. watch horror movies
5. buy into NCLB

Five things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Height
2. sense of humor
3. appreciation, if not acceptance, of the geekiness
4. good with kids/cats
5. good kisses

Five things I say most often:

1. I'm just sayin'
2. Not so much
3. Wait for it
4. Speed up, you moron! (Take that as you may)
5. LOL

Five celebrity Crushes:

1. Darth Vader
2. Hayden Christensen
3. John Rzenik
4. William Peterson (Gil-CSI)
5. Orlando Bloom

TAG: Anathema, Leila, Amanda, KT

Bert You scored 70% Organization, 41% abstract, and 62% extroverted!

Here is why are you Bert.

You are both very organized. You almost always know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Bert is a big neat freak and gets quite annoyed when Ernie makes a big mess.

You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Bert is probably a bit more concrete in his bottlecap collecting addiction and his love of the weather. He does show his abstract side when he sings and performs his "Doin' The Pidgeon" song. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both somewhat introverted. Bert is probably more introverted, because he spends most of his time either with Ernie or alone. Still he has no problem being around other people in his role as chairman of "The National Association of 'W' Lovers." Like Bert, you probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test