A brief, but true, story

Once there was a girl. This girl had no life. Her roommate's boyfriend took pity on her and, while the roommate was out of town, they went to a party.

At this party there were two boys. One of the boys is a very nice guy, who has similar interests as the girl, is smart and funny. The other boy is also smart and funny, but he's a little competitive and has a dirty mind. Also has a tendency to flirt with married women.

Let's all take a guess about which one the girl SHOULD be all into. Now let's take a stab at which one she was flirting with.

*bangs head on desk*

I knew A's boyfriend wanted me so much to get along with guy A. And I DO like guy A...but I've only hung out with him a few times. We do have similar interests, so I should probably focus more attention on that, yes? I mean, not that either has expressed any interest via the grape vine in me, but y'all know what I'm getting at.

I'm over-thinking this, aren't I? I should just go to bed, yes? Yes, Lady, good idea. Off to bed you go...

Deer = French

Ted Nugent on deer hunting.

He was being interviewed by a British journalist. The journalist asked,"What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend? Or is it, Are you the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away.' They are very much like the French in that way."

"The Jane Austen Book Club" & "The Dante Club"

TJABC: Chick lit at its finest...interesting characters, but always with Jane hovering in the background. I am a rather large fan of Ms. Austen (although I haven't read any of her stuff in awhile...quelle tragique!)

I give you some pithy words of wisdom from the Book Club:

"I just don't look in mirrors anymore....Like a vampire," she added, and when she put it that way, we wondered how it was that vampires always manged to look so dapper. It seemed that more of them should look like Bernadette."--p. 2

"Allegra's Austen wrote about the impact of financial need on the intimate lives of women. If she'd worked in a bookstore, Allegra would have shelved Austen in the horror section."--p. 4

"Always good to know what the lesbians were thinking about love and marriage."--p. 5

"Sahara [the dog] turned. Animal passion. She had seen things in the kennels. Thing that would make your hair stand on end."--p. 14

"How odd, to be minding the uncomfortable straps at the very moments in which she was plunging to earth from a plane. 'That's one small step for man, and it's a bit hot in this spacesuit'."--p. 54

"If only she would stop speaking French. Or go to France, where it would be less noticeable."--p. 58

"A trio of young women came on behind him. All three had chains in their noses, spikes on their wrists. They wore cuffs on their ears as if Fish and Wildlife had tagged and then released them."--p. 127

"Being a vampire is no excuse for being rude."--p. 128

"A night that began with mind-reading a grateful crustacean and ended with drunken elves would be a night to remember."--p. 131

"This was a romantic space. You could imagine serenading a lover one one of those balconies, or assassinating a president if that was the sick way your imagination ran."--p. 158

"In general, librarians enjoyed special requests. A reference librarian is someone who likes the chase. When librarians read for pleasure, they often pick a good mystery. They tend to be cat people as well, for reasons more obscure."--p. 213

"The pools had the charm of dollhouses without inspiring the urge toward rearrangement."--p. 229

TDC: A bit of a heavy read. The premise is very interesting, Dante-inspired murders with no clear idea as to WHO might be doing it, as there is no American translation (or an English translation at all, I believe) in 1865 when the murders take place. The only people who could possibly be responsible are people like Longfellow and Oliver Wendell Holmes. Not a group really predestined for serial murder.

Because in the end, this is what my life amounts to.

Four Things About Me (In No Particular Order)!

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Teacher
2. Receptionist
3. Tech Support
4. Cashier

B) Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. Star Wars (any)
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. The Three Musketeers
4. Dogma

C) Four places I have lived:

1. Saudi Arabia
2. Florida
3. New Haven, CT
4. Meriden, CT

D) Four TV television shows I watch:

1. Stargate (SG1 & Atlantis)
2. House
3. 24
4. Bones

E) Four places I have been on vacation:

1. San Francisco
2. San Antonio
3. Atlanta
4. Nova Scotia


F) Websites I visit daily

1. My livejournal's friends page
2. mail.juno.com
3. www.soulofthejedi.net
4. mail.yahoo.com

G) Four of my favorite foods.

1. Pizza
2. Lasagne
3. Smoothies
4. Watermelon

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Europe
2. On a beach
3. In someone's arms
4. In bed
(3 & 4 can be combined...that'd be great)

Pathetic? Yes, thank you.

Do you know what I did last night? I watched a 4-hour marathon of Law and Order: SVU and then fell asleep at midnight. This only after taking a two-hour nap in the middle of the day, when really, the most strenous thing I'd done up to that point had been grocery shopping.

I was a good girl this morning and went to the gym. I got my butt on the elliptical, because that doesn't hurt my ankle...and proceeded to die a slow death. What should have been a 35-minute workout turned into 25 minutes because at minute 15 I was about ready to call the paramedics on myself. WTF is up with that?

Now I'm sitting here on this rainy Sunday doing laundry and waiting for my brother and/or his girlfriend to call me about when they will be here for dinner tonight. I'm reading a fairly decent book, but because of my patheticness, I keep nodding off. You'd think I was narcoleptic or something.

Yes, I'm back to feeling sorry for myself. I assume this will pass in a few days when PMS just turns into what it always does. Let's hope.

But Foamy makes it all better.

Simple pleasures

1. A new laundry basket
2. A denim skirt
3. A 4-cup coffee maker
4. Cooking dinner for other people
4a. Having people enjoy said dinner
5. An evening swim
6. New books!

That pretty much sums up my day yesterday. Borders was having a "Buy 3, get the 4th free" sale, so how could I say no? I ended up with some very interesting purchases, which I cannot wait to get started on. I'm big into historical fiction at the moment. I don't think it's that I've abandonned my sci-fi ways, but I haven't been drawn to that area of the store in awhile.

I finally got the refund from the half.com purchase for the roommate's birthday, as the present never showed up. I have since re-ordered said present from a different vendor and am hoping it will arrive in due time.

Here's to Friday!

Guitars, Cadillacs and Hillbilly Music

If you have never been to a country music concert (with semi-well-known artists), you should go once in your life. Take or leave the actual music, the crowd alone is usually worth the price of admission.

Last night, my mother and I went to see Clint Black and Dwight Yoakum at the Norwich ball field (which is a very nice stadium, and very under-loved by our state). My mother had never been to such a concert; this was my second, I believe. The crowd was mostly well-behaved (drunk, but no fights) and everyone clapped and sung along.

And white men danced.

But this isn't that pathetic "I'm trying to be cool" dancing you see in clubs. Nope, these white boys in their big ol' cowboy hats were showing some rhythm. One guy was walking around with jeans, a hat, cowboy boots (obviously) and a vest...with no shirt underneath. My mother deemed him "Urban Cowboy," but I think there might have been a little "Brokeback" in him myself. There was also this row of 10 guys who all came together...to the show. (I realized how that looked and sounded after I'd typed it). We had Mr. Ripped T-Shirt and his buddy, Mr. Purple Shirt, trying to get the crowd riled up and dancing. Like I said, rather entertaining.

And then I realized that most people I know embrace an ethnicity (Indian, Irish, Italian...whatever). Me? I embrace the German in me, but in the end...I'm a redneck girl.

And that's okay with me. :)

Books & Movies

So I finished The Lovely Bones this weekend and must say that it was a fast read. Very interesting POV (dead girl...not giving anything away) with an interesting look at the here-after. If you haven't read it, and you'd like a quick read, pick it up. Warning: Roommate found the first few scenes involving the character's death a little hard to read.

Also watched two movies recently, Sliding Doors with Gwenyth Paltrow and Good Night and Good Luck, with George Clooney. Both were good, although the latter required a bit of history knowledge and a strong sense of concentration. Sliding Doors was slightly ruined for me by SOMEONE who had seen the last three minutes and then procceeded to "hypothesize" how the movie would end. Anyway, if you've got some free time this summer, rent either.

Today was the last day of school with the students. At the most I had ten students in my classroom today. I came home and...went in the pool. Roommate was all "but I have work to do" and I said "Don't care, pool now." So we swam. My arms hurt, but in a good way.

Tomorrow is my last day of work until August 25th. W00T!

Revelation

There's an episode of CSI in which Willows tells Grissom, "I haven't had sex in six...no, seven months."

I just realized...that's me.

I think, for the first time in my life, I am experiencing the withdrawl.

WTF.

Conspiracy!

I was supposed to go to Target with my brother's gf after work today, but she only got about 4 hours of sleep last night, so we opted out. I was thinking about going to the gym instead, but then realized the following things:

1. My left knee (the one I have to brace) is sore and has been for 2-3 days.
2. My right ankle (the one I twisted in high school) is swollen and not feeling particularly stellar either.

My ankle and knee may both be related to the fun, comfortable, but high-heeled sandals I've been wearing to work as of late. Puts all sorts of weird pressures on all sorts of weird places that don't bother me during the day but can become problematic at night. All of this added up to me thinking that perhaps a hard-core workout on the treadmill was a bad idea. Let's try again Monday, eh?

Today the kids took the last of the finals, we had a pot luck lunch for our exiting assistant principal and I realized...I have nothing to do for the next three days. No, seriously. I mean, I have to show up to work, and I have to keep the kids in my room for an hour at a time...but I'm really without significant tasks while I am there. I've got to put some books away, but really...I cleaned out my cabinets and whatnot during the LAST set of finals (freshmen/seniors). So now I'm offering to do thinks like input other people's grades, or have whatever students show up fold the programs for graduation tomorrow.

1 day down, 2 to go.

All right, I'm going to finish my raspberry-blackberry water and then see if I'm still hungry. You know, I think the worst part of my lunch today was the fact that I had some soda (there wasn't any water and I forgot mine) and, well, dessert. Again, we return to "Lady has a sweet tooth which denying is not advised."

Hope everyone has a spectacular Friday.

T-Minus 6 days and counting

I have not been sticking to the diet. Nope, not one bit. I start out the day with the best of intentions, but come post-lunch time, all bets are off. I like something sweet after lunch, so today I found a halloween-sized candy bar and ate that. I'm finishing off a box of Kashi cheese crackers after eating a Lean Cuisine pizza; sure I went to the gym, but that's all been counteracted.

I had a sip of champagne last night for the toast. It wasn't particularly good champagne, so I didn't finish the class. I had unsweetened iced tea (which was too acidic) and then drank water. I must say that Ms. Amanda's suggested for the bubbled & flavored water was a good one; I may pick up some more tonight when I go to the store. I have to make taco salad for tomorrow's staff lunch. Woo hoo.

Day 1 of exams. Kids did all right; no A's but a lot in the B-C range, which I didn't have with my freshmen. Only a few D's and no F's...so bonus.

All right, off to shower before I commence with the gathering and foraging.

Adventures in Sobriety

It's been two weeks since I've had a drink. It hasn't been too difficult, although my parents had what was apparently a beautiful bottle of red wine the other day and that was a little painful...not being able to taste it. Also, one does get sick of drinking nothing but water. Or iced tea.

The hardest part has been when my brother and I go out. Why? Because I am a wallflower. I don't know HOW to socialize with people; I am extremely uncomfortable chatting. After a drink or two, though, I'm fine; loosened up to the point that I don't stare at the ground or at the sky or at anything else but look at the person I'm talking to. I am so...I don't even think self-conscious is the right word for it. I just get nervous...anxious almost. Not to the point where I have a panic attack, but I'm not as comfortable. Not a reason to start drinking again, obviously, but an observation I've made about myself. An observation I've made before this, actually, it's just more pointed now.

So where does that leave us? It leaves us with Lady being Lady. I stand there with my hands in my pockets, sticking close to the people I know, hoping I might catch someone's eye, and not for being a complete loser, and they'll rescue me from the bubble of nervousness that surrounds me. And I'm sure at least someone out there is thinking "Well, just go talk to people!" Whomever is thinking that obviously isn't an introvert. We don't WANT to be quiet and shy...we just are. I'd love to be THAT girl, the one who can talk to anyone and be totally comfortable chatting it up with complete strangers. But I'm not. I see a cute guy and I freeze up, I look away if I think he might be considering making eye contact with me. I blush furiously.

Do I have any idea where this bizarre complex comes from? Nope. Might be slightly genetic; my mother tends to hang on the fringes, but my father can make the best of any situation. Shall we blame the books and the fact that reading about other people's lives is more exciting than having my own? I do tend to get wrapped up in fictional worlds...not as badly as I used to, obviously, but I'm very in my own head a lot of the time...I try not to let that part of me out for too many people, because it's kinda scarey. But it doesn't leave me with much. My job? Only other teachers trully appreciate teaching stories. I really try not to talk about my job out in social situations; it makes me feel like even MORE of a loser. "Oh, that girl over there only talks about her job." Shall I talk about my writing attempts? That really only interests other writers...or sci-fi geeks...because most of the general public wouldn't at all want to read what I've written.

So it always comes back to the geek in the pink. The problem is that truly geeky boys, the ones that might get it, tend to be...REALLY geeky. I tend to think of myself as relatively balanced in my geek-dom, although as I'm writing this I realize I need some sort of outside hobby. The gym/excercise doesn't count; no one REALLY wants to talk about reps and calories burned, do they? I mean, not for extended periods of time. Do I take up golf, like the rest of my family? Fly fishing? Ice carving? I mean...I do the stuff I like to do. But it doesn't appear to make me a very interesting person. Obviously the purpose of a blog is to navel-gaze, but I don't find much interesting if I review my life over the past...2 years? I think that's how long I've been at this. Personal drama, work drama, but nothing just says "That's me, that is who I am."

It is almost summer. In a week and three days I will be off for two months. In that time I do not know what I will be doing, really. I have a trip to Canada to visit family, a 3-day workshop that they're paying me for...but that's it. Do I buy another laptop battery and drag the slow-as-molasses machine outside, sit by the pool and try to put my writing life together? Do I spend 2-hours a day at the gym trying to be some toned goddess, as opposed to the flabby one I am now? Do I drive to the beach once a week, and hope that being my opposite element will rejuvinate me in some way? I am really bored with my life right now. I don't want drama, I just want something that makes me excited. Right now, not much does.

Feeling sorry for myself

I try not to, although my blog would indicate the contrary. But I just found out that my former-POI is seeing someone and that kind of made me a little sad. Especially since he's been dying to get roommate and I down to his new apartment. This is me reading too much into things. Still, kinda bummed me out because that pretty much sums up those mixed signals, n'est-ce pas?

So we're back to square one with me being a wheel wherever I go. Went out with my brother and his girlfriend last night and was reminded of why I never dated boys from my hometown. Gods, but they are DUMB! My brother hasn't gotten back to me about his friend, so I'll assume he's not interested. Le sigh.

All right, off to enjoy this shitty weather.

You fill in the blanks

Sea

To see the sea in your dream, represents your unconscious and your transition between your unconscious and conscious. It also often represents your emotions. The dream may also be a pun on your understanding and perception of a situation. "I see" or perhaps there is something you need to "see" more clearly. Alternatively, the dream may indicate a need to reassure yourself or offer reassurance to someone.

Cruise
To dream that you are on a cruise, represents some emotional journey that you are going through. The dream may also be a pun on "cruising" through situations in your life with ease and little effort.

Soldier/Old

To see a soldier in your dream, signifies your staunch attitudes and how you may impose your opinions and feelings on others. Alternatively, you may be preparing yourself do battle over an issue and defend your values and opinions.

To see something old in your dream, suggests that there is something in your life that you need to replace or get rid of.

Shopping/Gift
To dream that you are shopping, indicates your needs and desires. Consider what you are shopping for and what needs you are try to fulfill.

To dream that you are giving a gift, signifies your generosity towards others. Alternatively, you may be trying to express some feeling or have something awkward to say that has to be carefully packaged.

Sex

To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.

(And, for the record, I was not having sex with the old soldier in my dream.)

The biggest bird of them all.

Okay, so we had a union meeting on Friday to discuss when to make up snow days for next year and other sorts of nonsense. As we began the discussion, the union rep handed out the calendars for next year. Do you know what was missing?

February vacation.

Now, for the past two years, I have had to go in for three days on the week when every other teacher I know is sleeping in and going to bed whenever they bloody well feel like. But I usually had the Friday before off so, while I was getting gyped, I wasn't going to complain too much.

This, however, is ridiculous.

Now, before any of you non-teachers go on about how "You get the whole summer off," and "You only work 6-hours a day"... Let me tell you, my job is tough, it is exhausting. Also, February break gives us a chance to get away from the germs and clear out our systems.

Now, I have a four-day weekend instead of a nice long week.

We are ripped.

We are wondering where our union was when this bullshit was decided.

And, unfortunately, there's not a damn thing we can do about it.

"Oh, but doesn't your year end earlier?"

Nope. I still will get out, at the earliest, on June 16th (that includes not one, but TWO Professional Development days at the end of the year. WTF?) Add in snow days and, that's right, I've got a longer work year than...well, any teacher I know.

Bullshit, I tell you. Utter bullshit.

I probably shouldn't find this as funny as I do.

Bitch-Slap You are 14% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.) Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence...gee, when you say "small" a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can't get wasted on emotions. Aside from all my talk (and it's a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.

And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

All Hail SPF-50

As much as I LOVE the warm weather, it makes me absolutely exhausted. I am fighting all sorts of things not to fall asleep at this particular moment in time. I also pigged out hard-core when I got home today, eating a piece of pizza and piece of chicken (about the size of two thumbs next to each other) smothered in con queso. I'm not hungry RIGHT now, but I have a feeling I will be again soon. I could eat the very healthy spinach-chicken-raspberry-and-mango salad I made the other day, but that doesn't appeal to me and I want things that are not good...like a burger and fries.

The large thunderstorm that rolled through produced the interesting effect of scaring the SHIT out of Hob and having him spend most of the afternoon under my bed. I felt bad for the guy, but it was rather entertaining. Cleo handled things in a much more dignified manner, of course.

Went to see All-Star (the roommate's new nickname) and N-Man (the boyfriend of said roommie) play softball yesterday, but remain unburned due to the power of SPF-50 sunblock. Their team won and then we had pizza (hence the eating of pizza today) which was fun.

So glad tomorrow is Friday. Cleo and I are going home for at least one night to see Mom, as my father is out fishing with the boys on their annual outing.

Hope everyone survives the last day of the work week.