&(^*^I&)(*

Guess who got sick yesterday?

Guess who doesn't have time to be sick?

MF

The Panic Attack Commences

In lieu of going to real work tomorrow, I'm heading off to a workshop that will, in theory, help me work on my portfolio that is due in May. I've been putting off working on it because the thing scares the shit out of me; every time I sit down to work on it, I begin to have a panic attack, so scared am I of failing this thing and having to find yet ANOTHER thing to do with my life. I probably should be working on it now, but my brain is so fried, and I am so tired...

I think I may actually be getting fatter, not skinnier, despite the work I'm doing at the gym. And it is work, and I'm going almost every day (I skipped yesterday to go see the puppy, more on that later), and I've been eating 95% better than I was. But my clothes are fitting funny and I feel bloated and gross. Part of it is PMS I suppose, but my body isn't a big changer like this--sure I get klutzy, but that's about the extent of it. I just feel so gross about myself. I guess I'll call the physical trainer guy tomorrow. I don't want to cough up the money...I hope I'm not whining too much about this; please let me know if that is the case.

I feel like I've got a sunburn on my neck...but only on one side. Kind of uncomfortable; would like it to stop now.

Yesterday (Tuesday), my mom left a message on the cell phone saying "We got the puppy if you want to come see her." OMG-TEH CUTE! She's a little black lab (well, 25 lbs). Of course, she's doing stupid lab/puppy stuff and is driving my mother crazy, but she was adorable and appeared to like me a great deal. I'm going to have my father email me a picture so I can show her off.

There was something else I wanted to tell y'all...Oh yes! I don't know how many of you watch Bones, but you should, because it is cool. (And, you know, David Boreanz.) ANYWAY, there are books...not just the author's autobiography (She Mary-Sued herself to create Temperance), but actual novels that tell stories about the character. SO excited. Wish I had more time to read. Or had a smaller pile of books. Whichever.

Before I give you the quizzes, please go here to be entertained by a cool song...or at least the lyrics.

Your Japanese Name Is...

Leiko Hirohata

What's your Japanese Name?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Pre-gym post

Yup, that's right, week 3 of getting up before the gods themselves are considering it to go to the gym. This better be paid back to me with karma or weight loss, 'cause I am not happy.

Want to make yourself feel particularly loved? Lock your cat out of the bathroom in the morning. Bat bat bat at the door until you let them in or come out. Silly kitty.

I have pictures from various and sundry trips I've taken in the past few months, but blogger was being El Retardo yesterday, so I couldn't get them to load. I'll try to get some of them up tonight (if I don't fall asleep at 8 o'clock) or tomorrow.

Amuse yourself with a quiz or three...

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 47%

Well, you don't have the worst job in the world, but it's not great. And don't worry, you're not the problem - your company is. Start looking around for another job, even if you're not totally fed up. Because in time, you're going to be dying to quit!

Should You Quit Your Job?

Assorted musings

Musing the first:

I had peanut butter on graham cracker squares with a glass of orange juice for breakfast. This very child-like snack makes me wonder that, if I ate the snacks I did as a child (bugs-on-a-log, apples with cheese, that sort of thing) would I be a skinnier person? Do adults make eating more complicated? What healthy meal would you feed your five year old when he doesn't want salmon (and who could blame him)? Why can't I have that for dinner?

Musing the second:

Have you ever seen anyone fall of The Wagon? It's really sad. My family and I had dinner last night with someone who, through most of my childhood, was an extremely unreliable alcoholic. Not viscious or dangerous, just very forgetful and unreliable. I couldn't stand to be around him. About 5 years ago, he cleaned himself up--turned into a completely different person. I enjoyed being around him. He got married, had a baby...and then about 2 years ago, he started drinking again. He wasn't the way it used to be, but my Spider-Sense got all tingly. Then, when we went to see him last night...a lot of it was back. Asking questions repeatedly, going on long tangents, repeating himself during those, forgetting what he was doing...and I wanted to cry. This man has been given a second chance: the woman he married was a woman he dated in his early 20s. Their daughter, almost 4, is just adorable. I don't want to see him screw this up, because who knows what will happen after this. I told my dad what I thought on the way home and he said that the guy "didn't seem so bad." Ug.

Musing the third:

(Inspired by a conversation I'm currently having with Kelly)

Take out the student loan, people. You don't want to be 30 and still in college for your first degree. Wanna go back for your masters or doctorate? Fine, have at. But the loans are there for a reason--I don't regret my choice because I've been a productive member of society instead of living in "Hamlet" mode.

Corrollary to the above musing: Maybe it's jealousy, but I think people who insist on making themselves broke over their kids' college educations are morons. If the kid wants to go some place you can't afford, tell him/her that he/she has to make up the difference in loans. Don't get a second mortgage on the house to pay for it. Don't ask their grandparents for money. I valued my education SO much more because I was paying for it. Do you know what I saw a lot of people in college do, when Mommy and Daddy were paying for it? Nothing. They did not do a damn thing 'cause it wasn't their money. Or if they did, they skated by, took the easy way out, because who needs to make the most of it when the 'rents will pay for you to take a course over again if you have to. (I have someone specific in mind here, but it applies to a lot of people.)

Okay, now that I've inflammed half my readership:

6 Weird Things about Me (as tagged by Emily)
1. Thanks to my college roommate, my orgasmic snack of choice is Cool Ranch Doritos and Cream Cheese
2. I forgot about my fear of needles to get my tattoo
3. I befriend people who are smarter, cooler, and more wealthy than me and then feel bad about myself.
4. I am thisclose to signing up for adult ballet this summer, if it is convenient.
5. Despite being OCD about clutter, I'm a horrible pack rat and procrastinator when it comes to cleaning.
6. I'm still carrying around all sorts of Catholic Guilt.

Tagging: Sar, Kelly, Anathema, Leila, and Ehren

...and anyone else who wants to play along.

And now:

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Go back to bed and avoid today if at all possible.

My bad day actually started last night when I came home to find that Princess Di (aka Cleo) had puked on my bed. But we'll ignore that for a moment and get on with the rest of the suckiness:

1. Wake up several times during the night, mostly because of Hob trying to play with Cleo and/or attacking my personage. Kick him off the bed, but he returns.

2. Accept my fate at 5:20 and get up to take a shower. Get into shower. No hot water. Try tap in kitchen and bathroom. Not as hot as it should be. Fuck.

3. Call apartment main office to get to emergency maintence number. Am told that any and all mailbox numbers are "Invalid." Double fuck.

4. Go to make peanut butter toast. Bread is moldy. Shit.

5. Open fridge to take out English muffins (not moldy, a small miracle). Wonder what weird, brown, crystallized stuff is on salad bowl. Discover a Diet Coke can has exploded inside the fridge, and another is questionable. Must clean that up. Double shit.

And that was all before 5:45 in the morning. And so, dear readers, I recommend getting that book you've been meaning to read, your cat, and a cup of tea, call in sick and curl back up in bed, 'cause it's a no good terrible, rotten, horrible, bad day.

Weirdness

Have had a very strange day so far and can only imagine what weirdness awaits me over the next several hours.

I was all set to go to the gym this morning when the nymphs of the alarm clock conspired against me. I had set my alarm properly, but my clock (once unplugged for The Big Move) was 12 hours off. So when I woke up at 4 AM, I thought I only had half an hour...fell back asleep until 5. Expletive deleted.

Upon arrival at school things went as usual until the students began to arrive and there was a bit of a traffic jam in the hallway; the woman who teaches across the hall from me had not showed up, and neither had her sub. Took about 10 minutes to get that all sorted out.

First period ran swimmingly; sophomores delighted that we were watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. During my prep, I walked another absent teacher's sub plans to her room, only to discover that SHE didn't have a sub either, but one of her co-teachers was manning the fort until said sub arrived. Co-teacher was supposed to be somewhere teaching another class, covering for ANOTHER person who was absent in the department.

Oy. Vey.

Had a down-and-dirty discussion with my third period sophomores about their behavior in class and how I was sick of being angry with them. We discussed some means of improvement, and then I let them put together a list of the stories in the book they'd be interested in reading. I told them we had to read Julius Caesar, but none of them seemed to know it was Shakespeare, and I'd rather just leave that little surprise for now. ;) They were actually relatively good, all things considered; better than they have been in awhile.

Fifth period hellions (aka my Creative Writing Class) were also more-or-less behaved, but one of the key instigators was in ISS, so most everyone paid attention.

Survived the rest of the day with very little hullaballoo, went to the gym, and came home to an overdue notice on some life insurance. I don't remember getting the FIRST notice of this, but whatever. I am now waiting for some crock-pot mac n' cheese to do it's thing. The worst thing in the whole recipe is the Velveeta...and they even make THAT low-cal now. How sweet is that?

The plan is to go to the gym again tomorrow afternoon, then Wednesday and Thursday mornings, as I'll be after school late both of those days and there's no guarantee I'll actually get to the gym if I don't drag my lazy ass out of bed.

On the "lazy" note, this is the only full week I'll have to work for the next month. How cool is that? I'm being sent to various Professional Development seminars, as well as having Good Friday off. My mom wants me to take April 3rd off with her, but that would mean I'd only have interacted two out of five days with my students and I'm not quite sure I can justify that.

You Are a Sarariiman!

Or "salaryman." Whatever. Treadmill off, treadmill on. Most of the sleep you get is on Tokyo's extensive subway system, since you are putting in 14 hour days. You're a workaholic who works hard for no overtime. And vacations? Forget about it. You spend most of your trip hunting around for gifts to bring back all of your coworkers.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Pygmies!

So I've been using the new "Listerine Whitening" mouthwash because my teeth are not as pearly as I'd like. It has peroxide in it, which I did not know upon initial purchase. Anyway, I somehow gave myself a cut on my nose, but I did not know about it until some of said mouthwash splashed onto said nose, got into the cut, and began to bubble. Ow.

In almost exactly a month, I have to fit into a size 7-8 dress for the annual Navy Ball down at the casino. With this in mind, I am going to look into how much an hour, once a week, with a personal trainer will cost me. I cannot do this on my own. I am too weak with the will-power. I want to, but I fall prey to various distractions and, also, french fries. My biggest weakness, I think; bigger than wine or dessert is my love for the french fry.

A and I bought curtains to cover the two open doorways in our apartment; they are cute and I think give the room a nice look. We do, however, have these ginormously blank spaces on our walls that, given the whiteness of the curtains, we feel the need to cover. With what, we do not know, but with something. I'd love to put up some funky, but tasteful, posters; we shall see what the roommie says about that.

There was something else I wanted to say...it bordered on being rather important. Of course it is gone, now, to the world of half-remembered thoughts and ideas. I wonder what that place looks like...perhaps I should write a story about it. Add it to the list, right?

Moved my bed in my room again; furniture re-arrangement is my therapy.

Finished the book Teacher Man by Frank McCourt yesterday. It was...all right. But I wanted him to focus more on his teaching career (as the title would imply) and instead we got more "Woe is I" business, as I imagine his first two books contain. Still, there were some very funny moments and anyone who has ever/will ever work with adolescents should check it out.

Watched the movies "Matchstick Men" and "Waiting..." over the past few days. Both were good, obviously in their own ways. With the latter, however, it makes you EXTREMELY polite to your waitstaff. That's all I'm saying. The first was just a good kind of trippy and if you like Nicolas Cage (as I do) then you ought to watch it.

Oh, and just as a reminder, the Writing Blog has a new entry that is very lonely with only one comment and it would REALLY appreciate a little more insight.

St.Patrick's Day

Click on title for fun lyrics.

So, as most of you know, I spent much of my pubescent years with metal in my mouth attempting to fix generations of Anglo-Saxon dental problems. As a result, I've been a good girl and wear my retainer almost every night.

After 8 years I needed a new one, so off I went for a replacement.

Ow.

It's like having my teeth in braces all over again. The suckers are straighter than they've been in years, but it's still a little uncomfortable to, you know chew first thing in the morning.

Yesterday was one of those days at work in which things just went from bad...to really bad. And it wasn't even ME that was having the bad day, but things spiralled out of control and the whole wing I teach on was just...very tense.

CAPT testing is now over, though, so I'm hoping that the kids get back to normal. I'm going to kill my third period class, but that's really neither here nor there.

Oh, I have two students who were expelled for the year. Isn't that special?

Hope everyone has a great Friday! Don't drink too much Guinness.

From the strange to the serious with a "yay" in between.

So, A and I were good girls and got up at the ass-crack of dawn to go to the gym. I did a 40 minute workout, took a nice shower, all felt good. I was a little hungry (I'd had fruit and yogurt and cereal for breakfast), so I had my Luna bar.

But I couldn't stop eating. I kept drinking water, hoping that would calm the tummy, but to no avail. I had two mini-blueberry muffins and a nutrigrain bar before lunch. For lunch I had a salad with some cheese in it, followed by Goldfish crackers and chocolate and a cookie that was on the table during our PD meeting.

I'm home, drinking water, and still hungry. This is hella annoying.

On the positive side, my passport arrived today. I am muy excited, especially since my picture does not suck at life. I also got my copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire so we should all do a little dance of joy.

And now on the more serious note. I don't want to sound like an alcoholic, but I have a very strange relationship with booze. When I go out to bars or restaurants, I can drink safely and in moderation and don't ever get too hammered. When I'm at a party, or with my parents however, I drink to excess. And I don't even realize I'm doing it. I'll be a little tipsy, know I'm talking more loudly than normal, but I don't feel drunk. It's not until later that night, or the next morning, when I'm bent over the toilet, that I realize perhaps I should have stopped.

I like to drink socially, but I obviously have to be much more vigilant about how much and of what I drink. I have noticed, however, that with the exception of IBN (International Beer Night), my worst mornings are after I've consumed wine. Allergy? Sheer quantity? It's an interesting question, I feel.

I liked this so much, I decided to do it again for today:

1. How does the world see me?

"Tiny Dancer" by Elton John. Okay, this was my theme song with a certain someone, and I still love it, so if this is how the world sees me, that's cool.

2. Will I have a happy life?

"Beep" by the Pussycat Dolls. I'm apparently going to be a sex object. Huh.

3. What do my friends really think of me?

"Quittin' Time" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. Oh, so you all want to leave me and just don't know how to say it? Gee, thanks. ;)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

"Tourniquet" by Evanescence. Okay, that's just creepy.

5. How can I make myself happy?

"3 Small Words" by Josie and the Pussycats. I guess I need to make men like me for me.

6. What should I do with my life?

"All the Lilacs in Ohio" by John Hiatt. Save people from themselves. Great.

7. Will I ever have children?

"What Matters" by Matthew Sweet. So...yes, if I'm supposed to? *scratches head*

8. What is some good advice for me?

"Ben's Death/TIE Fighter Attack" from ANH. I should not let the deaths of those around me bother me too much? WTF?

9. How will I be remembered?

"If I Didn't Have You" by Amanda Marshall. Okay, that's sweet.

10. What is my signature dancing song?

"The Way" by Fastball. Nice and depressing. Great.

11. What do I think my current theme song is?

"Grapefruit/Juicey Fruit" by Jimmy Buffett. I'm a fruit, apparently.

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

"The Night Before" from Troy. I guess that's better than "The Morning After." ;)

13. What song will play at my funeral?

"I'll Never Break Your Heart" by the Backstreet Boys. Don't cry for me, folks.

14. What type of men/women do you like?

"Old Habits are Hard to Break" by John Hiatt. Okay, that's pretty self-explanatory. I'm in trouble.

15. What is my day going to be like?

"Talk to Me" by Stevie Nicks. Guess I'm going to be a sounding board for the next 24 hours.

Yay! Pointless Memes!

Musical Magic 8 Ball
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.

NO CHEATING.

1. How does the world see me?

"Wild, Wild West" by Escape Club. Apparently, I'm seen as care free. Ha!

2. Will I have a happy life?

"I'll Be that Girl" by the Barenaked Ladies. This probably means no.

3. What do my friends really think of me?

"When Smokey Sings" by ABC. I make "everything good in the world tonight." Gosh, I'm special.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

"Footprints" by Tok. I have NO idea what this means. Because...yeah.

5. How can I make myself happy?

"Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by the Backstreet Boys. I can apparently make myself happy by getting involved in highly choreographed dance numbers with attractive, but flakey men.

6. What should I do with my life?

"Cars" by Gary Numan. I should travel the world in a 4-wheeled vehicle? Kay.

7. Will I ever have children?

"Prison Song" by System of a Down. I guess that's a 'yes'.

8. What is some good advice for me?

"Shake" by the Yin Yang Twins. Okay, see, that's just funny.

9. How will I be remembered?

"One Solitary Tear" by Sherrie Austin. Thanks guys, that's all I get? ;)

10. What is my signature dancing song?

"Night Skies" from the Shadows of the Empire soundtrack. Dancing not really my forte, obviously.

11. What do I think my current theme song is?

"Stop" by Matchbox 20. Okay, this one is accurate. Look at the lyrics.

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

"You've Got a Way" by Shania Twain. That's so sweet. ;)

13. What song will play at my funeral?

"Jar Jar's Introduction and the Swim to Otoh Gunga" from Ep I. Anyone else entertained by that?

14. What type of men/women do you like?

"There's Your Trouble" by the Dixie Chicks. Men who are interested in someone else. There you go then. There's my trouble. ;)

15. What is my day going to be like?

"Perfectly Good Guitar" by John Hiatt. I'm going to break stuff that is valuable to me. Oh lovely.

Ta da!

Ink!

Pictures gakked from Sarah and taking requests

I just wanted everybody to see some of the pictures from our trip; no ink picture yet, but I promise...soon.

Kelly and I with our funky drinks at Club-22.

Three goddesses enjoying a well-deserved meal. Thank you, slow waitress, for taking the picture.

Sar and I enjoy the ginmormously soft bed.



Also, I am sending out a general offer for mix CDs. I'm in the mood to be generous, but also want to give people what they want. SOOOO...give me a theme and I'll play you a song...or 17.

TGIaF.

I'm alive!

Hello all.

I know you were all dying for a post from me on Monday night, but after spending 6 hrs in the car by myself, guess who was a little tired? Oh wait, that would be me.

Anyway, the weekend was crazy and involved a LOT of driving (1000+ miles; yay rental cars) but it was a very good time. Toronto was really nice; except for the inane way in which its pedestrian cross lights are not synchronized effectively with the regular traffic lights. Niagra Falls was fun, if essentially a poor-man's Vegas (which, btw, I still think should be our next, non-European outing).

Of course, the biggest news from the weekend is the ink I'm now sporting on my lower back. Pictures forthcoming, but it turned out very nicely. It hurt only on certain parts (the higher up she went on my spine), but I didn't cry or throw up or anything. Woohoo. I'm waiting for the itching to begin, because for the past three days it's been pretty good. *knock wood*

Last night (Tuesday), A and I went to the Meet Market sponsored by Kiss 95.7. As A predicted, there was a LOT of blonde there, and the two of us being wallflowers did not have much in the way of luck. A guy took my phone number, but I'm not sure how interested I was in him. Nice enough, but not OMGTEHWOW, as I would've said this weekend. Still, it was an interesting experience and worth a number of giggles throughout the evening. Of course, my type-A-ness already has a gillion ways it could've been better organized; but nobody asked me.

Pictures arrive anon from the trip, I assure you.

More dreams

It must be PMS, otherwise WHY would I be remembering my dreams.

Last night (well, this morning) I was dreaming about my parents coming over here, and they were with a whole bunch of people. They were supposed to bring the overnight suitcase for me, but forgot. Then my dream shifted and I was at my parents' house getting ready to eat dinner (huge lamp chops; very specific). The phone rang and I answered. This man started talking to me, thinking for some reason I was my brother. It was my brother's boss, and it took me about 5 minutes to get off the phone with him and give it to my brother. There were lots of people at my parents' house; people who in the dream I knew but now, for the life of me, cannot remember who they are.

Weird.

Thanks PhatPhyllis for that link; there are MANY copies of the book around. YAAAAAAY! *a la Kermit* I am a happy woman.

Do you all think I'm going to have an early dismissal? If so, I still think I'm gonna go to my parents' house. I do, after all, need the suitcase. 'Cause tomorrow is GODDESS TIME!

A post of inter-connected randomness

Should be getting ready for work. Don't care. There, I said it.

So, my copy of King's Test is falling apart. Ickle bitty pieces falling apart. "Buy a new copy" many of you say. Ah, but it is out of print, so this gets a bit tricksy. I went to amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com to see if I could find any used ones...some shmuck wants $23 for a softcover book. Not paying that much. Sorry.

So last night I had a dream that I was complaining about this to my friend Amanda and she said that she was going to trade in a few books somewhere and that she'd get me another copy. Wasn't that thoughtful of dream-Amanda? Real-Amanda would do that sort of thing too, of course, but it was a nice sojourn from reality.

Today is Wednesday. Which makes it almost Thursday. Which means FRIDAY is right around the corner. Yay goddess time!